Saturday, May 27, 2006

Dixie Chicks ROCK!!!

Hubby and I decided to make a stop at Best Buy on our way out to the movies last night. Both of us decided to pick up CD's that are totally out of character for us. Hubby picked up a Black Eyed Peas CD and I picked up the new Dixie Chicks CD. (Take a free listen to the entire CD here). WOW! I am not a huge fan of Country music, but these women have some serious talent!

We went out and saw The DaVinci Code last night. Hubby and I both read the book a couple of years ago and wanted to see the movie (sans protesters). It was pretty good, hubby liked it more than I did. We played our "game" after the movie of "what parts were in the book that were not in the movie". It stayed pretty true to the movie but it did change a couple of minor details and left a few things out of the book. All in all, it was worth the money to see it...

Today, headed over to LYS to pick up some yarn I ordered a couple of months ago and to see what is going on. They are going to do a walk/run for breast cancer, so I want to throw my name into the hat for it! Then, time to get to the dying for the weekend. I picked up some more containers to store dye in, I am going to mix up the rest of my colors and see what turns out.

Friday, May 26, 2006

And our learnings for today are???

I believe.... OK, no redneck jokes today ;-P

It's 6:30 in the morning and I am at work finishing up on some data for a white paper that one of my co-workers will present for me while I am out on Tuesday getting started on my healing.

Yesterday, I went out to the Albuquerque Isotopes game with my co-workers, although I think the entire plant was at the game... We got beat BAD... It was painful to watch. When the highlight of the game is watching the manager get into a shouting match with one of the umpires for 5 minues, you can figure how bad it was... (Yup, we were cheering on the manager... It was funny!) After the game, one of my friends from work stuck around and we talked for a little bit about all that has been going on in my life and where I am at right now.

After our chat, I was driving home. I mulled over many of the things we talked about and realized how much I have grown over the last few years and how much in my life has changed. I have gone from being a very angry young woman to realizing that I am blessed beyond all belief. I have gone from feeling lower than dirt and thinking I was not worthy to finding that I am a gifted woman who can and does help others to heal not only outwardly but inner wounds also. I have gone from thinking that "I don't deserve any success, someday everyone will find out I am a fake" to thinking "What can I do to help the people in my life, the people on the periphary and the people that I don't like very much." I never realized what I have taken for granted after the hard work I have done the last few years and that I have finally got a self-esteem and those old tapes that used to play in my head about "how bad I was" don't play anymore.

Now, what does this have to do with the price of tea in China? Well, this whole situation started from a getting that phone call a few weeks ago. I am a believer in both Eastern and Western medicine. I believe to heal a problem you not only need medical procedures (Western) but you also need to heal what caused the problem in the first place (Eastern). This is a fourth chakra issue, having to do with the heart. It hit me like a ton of bricks on Tuesday. I had buried this issue very deep inside of me and minimized it so I wouldn't continue to feel that hurt. I cried for 3 days over it. I felt the pain of what happened and the anger over it. There was no way I felt ready to forgive the parties who were responsible for what happened and I thought it would be a cold day in Hell before I would be ready. After our talk yesterday, I thought more about it. Just before I got home, I realized that if my "Highter Power" can forgive someone, I can do it too. I said a little prayer and let it go. I got home at 6:15, decided to take a "little nap" and woke up at 4:45 this morning after the best night's sleep I had gotten in a long time. This morning, that hurt tried to come back, but instead of getting angry over it, I felt peace and serenity.

I realize I will need to confront this person about this hurt in the very near future. I am trying to find a way to do this with love and compassion for this person. I don't expect this person to ever change. What I do hope for is that I can express this hurt, this person will have the knowledge of the hurt and maybe they can heal a hurt inside of them that caused them to hurt me in this way. Tall order? Yup! I have a feeling that the whole situation that is happening is here to not only help me but to help me teach others. No, I am not that important in the grand scheme of things, but I am always looking for the good that can come from any and all situations, no matter what they are.

During all that is happening, the "Higher Power" that I have cursed, doubted and blamed for so long has been here with me, letting me know that I am not alone. I feel a debt to my "Higher Power" for this and now realize that I need to find my "calling" to start to "Pay it forward". I don't know what that looks like, but whatever it is, I will be there to do it.

Monday, May 22, 2006

And who's brain was it?

"Abby... Somebody."
"Abby Somebody.... Abby Who?"
"Abby Normal"
"Abby Normal... So you are telling me I put an abnormal brain into this body?"
"Uh.... Yes..."

That has got to be my favorite part of the movie "Young Frankenstein". ROTFLMAO!

I sold my first yarn today! Etsy sent me a note saying I had someone buy my Pink Houses and Caribbean Blue Yarn! Yippee! I have my new multi-colored yarns going up sometime later this week!

I went in for my "repeat" mammogram and ultrasound. This time, they took 4 additional pictures of my right boobie and one didn't turn out so I got to get an additional boobie squeezing on that side. I have come to the conclusion I would rather have a pap smear and gyn exam any day over the boobie squishing maching... OWIE! The results came back and there is a mass in my right breast that is not a cyst or fatty deposit. I am going back a week from Tuesday for a biopsy on the mass and we will go from there. Hey, a day off of work so I can have needles inserted into my boobie and possibly have the mass cut out, whoopie!

I have not been a real sociable animal in the last week and a half. I really don't feel like dealing with anyone right now... It's hard to describe. I have no fear or dread of the future. I know deep down that everything will be OK, even if this is a bit of a struggle in the short term. Hell, I can't go, that would leave too many people in my life that I would have to come back and haunt! I plan to live to 90-something and I will NOT be changing those plans anytime in the next 50 years! It's that things that used to be so important are no longer all that important. (Work is topping that list). I think this is my "Higher Power" telling me that it is time for me to truly look at what I value, look at my life path, look at what I still need to teach and what I still need to give back to the World before I am done. Kind of a "spiritual tune-up". It's necessary, but not easy by any means. I have learned a few lessons in the last week and half, but I think there is so much more growing and changing to do before this "crisis" is over. I think it is totally ironic that I was working as a test knitter on the "booby socks" and now, I am in the midst of it.

Now for those of you who haven't been paying attention during the last week and a half: GO GET YOUR MAMMOGRAMS! PLEASE! The life you save will be your own!

Sunday, May 21, 2006

The Dyeing Be Done!

This is what was sitting in my garage a few hours ago... My first attempted foray into the world of putting more than one dye color onto a hank of yarn... The one on the far left is just an experiment, the second one is my secret pal yarn, the last two were stuff I messed up on last night after watching my race... The white stuff on the end??? Well, it got it's own special bath today! I decided to throw all caution to the wind and start dying hanks in more than one color! So far??? I think it's OK...

If you are my special pal in the Dye-O-Rama swap, look for these goodies to be arriving at your door very soon! (and how did you find out what my blog was???)The yarn is aqua, yellow and green with striping in it! (Although, I will confess, not the exact striping I was hoping for..) I came to realize today that I am not a machine, I do not make perfect yarn and that is all that there is to it :-)

My digital camera is not good at capturing the true colors of the yarn. I think I need to start taking the pix outside...

So what else is going on??? Hmmm... Going with the folks I work with to the Isotopes game on Thursday... That should be lots of fun... Get to skip a half day of work tomorrow for a Dr appt, should be ok... Kid is done with the regular school year on Tuesday, he is really excited. I am going to the Formula 1 race in Indy in July, that is REALLY COOL!

I will put up more pictures of dyed yarn when I get them dried and wrapped. I have 2 of them that I am really excited about! But, I can't wrap them till they are dry, which should be sometime tomorrow afternoon!